Written by: Danielle Montana, Senior Vice President
People often say that becoming a parent changes your perspective on all parts of life. Becoming a parent to premature twins? That rewrites it entirely.
In a career like PR, where news cycles and client needs shift sometimes hourly, I thought I had become comfortable with juggling the unexpected, pivoting quickly, and solving problems under pressure. Then my twin boys arrived ten weeks early, and I realized there was an entirely different level of unpredictability I had yet to experience.
Becoming their mom has stretched me in ways I never anticipated. It has taught me how much strength and motivation can be found in the smallest victories and how little control we sometimes have over the things that matter most.
As I returned to work, I was surprised by how many of the lessons I learned – both at home and in the NICU – translated directly into leadership. Here are five that have stayed with me.
- Expect the unexpected.
No amount of planning prepares you for every curveball. Whether it’s a client issue, a business challenge or two babies deciding they need you at exactly the same time, things rarely unfold exactly as envisioned.
Being a twin mom has taught me that the best leaders aren’t the ones with perfect plans. They’re the ones who stay calm when those plans inevitably change. Preparing is important. Adapting is essential.
- Patience is a virtue.
In communications, we’re wired for speed. We work hard for results, momentum and progress, and we want to see it happen fast.
But raising twins has shown me that sometimes, growth happens on its own timeline. Even two children born two minutes apart can develop at completely different paces, with their own strengths, needs and personalities. Learning not to compare them – and to celebrate each baby for exactly where they are – has been one of the most meaningful lessons of motherhood.
The same is true when building a client’s profile in the media or mentoring a team member. Growth isn’t always linear, and it can’t always be rushed. Sometimes the greatest leadership skill is trusting the process and providing the support and guidance someone needs along the way.
- Flexibility isn’t a weakness, it’s a superpower.
Every day with twins looks different. Feeding schedules change. Naps disappear. Plans (and moods) shift by the hour. And while change can be scary, it’s how you handle it that matters.
Leadership is no different.
The leaders I admire most don’t confuse consistency with rigidity. They know when to stick to the strategy and when to pivot the approach. Being flexible doesn’t mean lowering your standards, it means staying focused on the outcome while remaining open to different paths for getting there.
- Sometimes the simplest ideas bring the biggest value.
When life becomes overwhelming, you quickly realize that not every solution needs to be complicated.
Sometimes it’s one conversation that builds trust. A familiar bedtime routine that helps two babies feel safe. One thoughtful email that reassures a client. One hour spent coaching someone who simply needs your attention.
In both parenting and leadership, we often overestimate complexity and underestimate consistency. Small, intentional actions repeated over time usually create the greatest impact.
- The more you try to control, the less you have control over.
This may have been the hardest lesson for me.
Leaders like plans, predictability and measurable outcomes. But bringing preemies into this world and parenting twins has reminded me (every. single. day.) that control is often an illusion.
You can’t control every challenge your team will face. You can’t always control which reporter responds to your pitch. And you certainly can’t control two infants with very different personalities.
What you can control is how you respond. Your attitude. Your preparation. Your empathy. Your willingness to lead through uncertainty instead of resisting it.
Ironically, letting go of the need to control everything has made me a calmer parent and, I believe, a better leader.
Leadership lessons often come from boardrooms, mentors or career-defining projects. Mine happened to come from two three pound boys who came into this world as chaotically as possible.
They’ve reminded me that resilience, adaptability, patience and perspective aren’t just qualities that make better parents. They’re the same qualities that make better leaders.
