In this week’s issue…Tito’s in a “can,” Gen Z cringe and wedding fatigue.

It’s giving can-formity 

Did someone say vodka? We’re all ears! Major props to our fave ever, Tito’s, for not giving in to the trends and being different. What did they do, exactly? Welp, instead of moseying into the canned cocktail space (which they claim is a big no-no for them at this time, but consumers are breathing down their necks about it) Tito’s is clapping back with a refillable mini-keg. How long ‘til the frat boyz sell this one out? This was uber clever of you, Tito’s, because you know the people love us some good trolling. Your PR team should totally get a raise. 

Please tell us we can still say, ‘Slay.’ 😰 

It’s the moment the baby boomers have all been waiting for. After years and years of being the masterminds behind downright awful but hilariously funny jokes about the oldies, karma is striking back at millennials. Gen Z is showing no mercy these days, according to Insider, with the age group taking to social media to rub in millennials’ faces that they are now ‘cringe AF.’ That’s gotta hurt! From literal trash to weird flexes galore, these dang 20-year olds are ruthless. Just wait until they grow up and get real jobs! Ha ha ha.

Can everyone stop getting married? 

Are we maybe a bit salty because we’re still not engaged? Perhaps. But seriously, can everyone chill for a sec? It’s sooooooo annoying going to a wedding every weekend. We have such other important, crucial things to do like invade our dog’s personal space and water our plant kids. Other tasks that make it so unbearably hard to be us? Responding to texts (stop bothering us), looking through the list of people who watched our IG stories (when mom sees it but not our Hinge date from last week <), and not sinking into a dark hole of forever sadness. According to The New Yorker, we’re not the only ones feeling this way. Seems like we should all be getting paid for simply existing. 

TLDR: Growing up is tragic and we should be compensated accordingly.